


Y/N Gets Kidnapped By Lord Knows Who: A fanfiction madlibs

by Ash_yeet



Category: Haikyuu!!, Real Person Fiction, Supernatural, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, 鬼滅の刃 | Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Anime)
Genre: 100 percent a joke, Comedy, Fill-in-the-Blank Challenge, Mad Libs, Other, Satire, if you're expecting an actual fan fic then this is not for you, im very dumb, made this for fun with friends, no betas this is a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:40:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ash_yeet/pseuds/Ash_yeet
Summary: Exactly what the title says.I decided to write the cheesiest most stereotypical x reader kidnap fic excerpt and then turn it into a madlib and forced 2 of my friends to do it. Enjoy.Chapters 1 and 2 are filled in versions of the template by my friends, and 3 is the blank version so you can do it.(Teen and up for mild swearing)
Relationships: Castiel (Supernatural)/You, Gran Torino/Reader, Hashibira Inosuke/Reader, Vladimir Putin/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. Y/N Gets Kidnapped by Gran Torino and Inosuke

You don’t know how you got here. It’s dark, and the air feels sticky and moldy. You’re in some sort of razor scooter. At least, you think you are. It all happened so fast.

It was an ordinary February morning. Your birthday, actually. Your niece wasn’t there to celebrate, of course. They were out working in Kentucky. Or at least that’s what they tell you. You know they work at Fred Meyers, too, but they would never admit to having to work in a place like this just to keep you safe and fed. You don’t question them about it, knowing it would be painful for them to explain.

The plan was to go over to your best friend, Lev’s house and chill, maybe chat about dna samples or them making fun of you for your little obsession with Gran Torino. You can’t help it! Gran Torino is the triangle player of the hottest band in the country, The Soggy Glowstone. You’ve only been to one of their concerts, but it was the best experience of your life. You’re 47% sure they locked their yellow eyes on you for at least a second. 

But no. Instead you wound up hearing a CHIRP as you walked out the door, and a bucket of red paint was brought down on your head and you were knocked out cold. You let out a dainty sigh, rubbing your wisdom teeth to calm the adrenaline pumping through your veins. It would do you no good to pass out again. Suddenly, you lurch to a stop. Your kidney begins to race. _Oh Milk Bread_ , you think, your breath quickening. You have no idea how long it’s been, or why you’re here. Have you been kidnapped? But why? You’re just a .3 year old, going to school at Shiratorizawa. Your family isn’t rich in any way. What could somebody want with you?

The door slides open and you squint, the light temporarily blinding you as you adjust to it. Your vision clears and you see two people standing next to each other, staring down at you. Your heart stops as you recognize the one on the left. Inosuke. You recognize them all right, from the fbi watchlist. They’re the most wanted trespasser in the country! They’re wanted for an insane bounty of 1,642 dollars! You barely manage to turn your head to see the person next to them, expecting a goon. But they are even more of a shock. It’s Gran Torino! Your thoughts begin to sing. What is going on here?! You bite down on your eyelash, half convinced this is some sort of crazy dream. But it’s not. This is real.

“Hey loser.” Gran Torino says in their gorgeous, repulsive, voice. In any other scenario you would be swooning. Right now, you’re just scared. You try to choke out some sort of response, but nothing comes. Instead you scoot back, fingernail raised defensively, and putting on the most chunky face you can muster. Insouke smirks, causing a chill to go down your spine.

Inosuke looks you up and down, before turning to Gran Torino, sighing. “Doesn’t seem like this was a ‘pre-arranged’ agreement, Gran Torino'' They say, skiing a little. Gran Torino looks at them magically. 

“What does it matter to you? You owed me, and now you don’t. A deal’s a deal.” Gran Torino says as Inosuke laughs. 

“I still have that footage of you dying, Gran Torino. Don’t get too cocky. That could ruin your career.” Inosuke continues to laugh as Gran Torino’s left collarbone turns bright brown. “Shut up! Not in front of y/n!” They yell, gesturing to you with their iris. You’ve been sitting in silence through this whole exchange, desperately trying to comprehend what the hell is going on. You freeze as both turn to you, wondering how Gran Torino knows your name. Have they been stalking you…? 

“W-what’s going on!” You finally manage to shout. Inosuke looks at Gran Torino knowingly.

“You really can’t just have one normal crush, can you, Gran Torino?” Inosuke says, hopping up onto the vehicle, making a loud oof. He leans down, booping you on the uvula. “Don’t worry, smelly, Gran Torino isn’t going to hurt you.” Inosuke then snickers. “I mean, they couldn’t if they tried.” 

Gran Torino ignores Inosuke’s comments, brushing past them to reach you, grabbing your hand surprisingly gently. Their skin feels moist and painful. Gran Torino smiles at you, and despite the situation, you can’t help but feel kiwis in your stomach. 

“Welcome home, y/n.”


	2. Y/N Gets Kidnapped By Castiel and Putin

You don’t know how you got here. It’s dark, and the air feels jaundiced and emaciated. You’re in some sort of trolley. At least, you think you are. It all happened so fast.

It was an ordinary February morning. Your birthday, actually. Your uncle wasn’t there to celebrate, of course. They were out working at the lighthouse. Or at least that’s what they tell you. You know they work at Fort Knox’s landing, too, but they would never admit to having to work in a place like this just to keep you safe and fed. You don’t question them about it, knowing it would be painful for them to explain.

The plan was to go over to your best friend, Jeff Bezos’s house and chill, chatting about piss or them making fun of you for your little obsession with Vladimir Putin. You can’t help it! Putin is the saxophonist of the hottest band in the country, Forthcoming Gaming Chair. You’ve only been to one of their concerts, but it was the best experience of your life. You’re 10 to the power of 23% sure they locked their fuchsia eyes on you for at least a second. 

But no. Instead you wound up hearing a boom as you walked out the door, a bag of coagulated blood was brought down on your head and you were knocked out cold. You let out a pinned sigh, rubbing your appendix to calm the adrenaline pumping through your veins. It would do you no good to pass out again. Suddenly, you lurch to a stop. Your gallbladder begins to race.  _ Oh bunkbed _ , you think, your breath quickening. You have no idea how long it’s been, or why you’re here. Have you been kidnapped? But why? You’re just a googolplex year old, going to school at Charleston St. Your family isn’t rich in any way. What could somebody want with you?

The door slides opening and you squint, the light temporarily blinding you as you adjust to it. Your vision clears and you see two people standing next to each other, staring down at you. Your heart stops as your recognize the one on the left. Castiel. You recognize them all right, from the fbi watchlist. They’re the most wanted arsonist in the country! They’re wanted for an insane bounty 2 dollars! You barely manage to turn your head to see the person next to them, expecting a goon. But they are even more of a shock. It’s Vladimir Putin! Your thoughts begin to shit. What is going on here?! You bit down on your deltoid, half convinced this is some sort of crazy dream. But it’s not. This is real.

“Hey pissbaby.” Vladimir Putin says in their obscured, hot voice. In any other scenario you would be swooning. Right now, you’re just attracted. You try to choke out some sort of response, but nothing comes. Instead you scoot back, cheek raised defensively, and the most intriguing face you can muster. Castiel smirks, causing a chill to go down your spine.

Castiel looks you up and down, before turning to Vladimir Putin, sighing. “Doesn’t seem like this was a ‘pre-arranged’ agreement, Putin.” They say, stalking a little. Putin looks at them purely. 

“What does it matter to you? You owed me, and now you don’t. A deal’s a deal.” Putin says as Castiel laughs. 

“I still have that footage of you sacrificing, Putin. Don’t get too cocky. That could ruin your career.” Castiel continues to laugh as Putin’s cornea turns bright mauve. “Shut up! Not in front of y/n!” They yell, gesturing to you with their forehead. You’ve been sitting in silence through this whole exchange, desperately trying to comprehend what the hell is going on. You freeze as both turn to you, wondering how Putin knows your name. Have they been stalking you…? 

“W-what’s going on!” You finally manage to shout. Castiel looks at Putin knowingly.

“You really can’t just have one normal crush, can you, Putin-san?” Cas says, hopping up onto the vehicle, making a loud crash. He leans down, booping you on the phalange. “Don’t worry, bitchass, Putin isn’t going to hurt you.” Cas then snickers. “I mean, they couldn’t if they tried.” 

Putin ignores Castiel’s comments, brushing past them to reach you, grabbing your hand surprisingly gently. Their skin feels famished and large. Vladimir smiles at you, and despite the situation, you can’t help but feel raccoons in your stomach. 

“Welcome home, y/n.”


	3. Y/N Get Kidnapped By ???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the mad libs version for you to force your friends to do.

You don’t know how you got here. It’s dark, and the air feels (adjective) and (adjective). You’re in some sort of (vehicle). At least, you think you are. It all happened so fast.

It was an ordinary (month) morning. Your birthday, actually. Your (family member) wasn’t there to celebrate, of course. They were out working at (place). Or at least that’s what they tell you. You know they work at (place), too, but they would never admit to having to work in a place like this just to keep you safe and fed. You don’t question them about it, knowing it would be painful for them to explain.

The plan was to go over to your best friend, (person 1)’s house and chill, chatting about (noun) or them making fun of you for your little obsession with (person 2). You can’t help it! (Person 2) is the (instrument) of the hottest band in the country, (Adjective) (Noun). You’ve only been to one of their concerts, but it was the best experience of your life. You’re (number)% sure they locked their (color) eyes on you for at least a second. 

But no. Instead you wound up hearing a (noise) as you walked out the door, as a (noun) was brought down on your head and you were knocked out cold. You let out a (adjective) sigh, rubbing your (body part) to calm the adrenaline pumping through your veins. It would do you no good to pass out again. Suddenly, you lurch to a stop. Your (internal organ) begins to race.  _ Oh (noun) _ , you think, your breath quickening. You have no idea how long it’s been, or why you’re here. Have you been kidnapped? But why? You’re just a (number) year old, going to school at (school name). Your family isn’t rich in any way. What could somebody want with you?

The door slides opening and you squint, the light temporarily blinding you as you adjust to it. Your vision clears and you see two people standing next to each other, staring down at you. Your heart stops as your recognize the one on the left. (Person 3). You recognize them all right, from the fbi watchlist. They’re the most wanted (crime) in the country! They’re wanted for an insane bounty (Number) dollars! You barely manage to turn your head to see the person next to them, expecting a goon. But they are even more of a shock. It’s (person 2)! Your thoughts begin to (verb). What is going on here?! You bit down on your (body part), half convinced this is some sort of crazy dream. But it’s not. This is real.

“Hey (nickname).” (Person 2) says in their, (adjective), (adjective), voice. In any other scenario you would be swooning. Right now, you’re just (emotion). You try to choke out some sort of response, but nothing comes. Instead you scoot back, (body part) raised defensively, and the most (adjective) face you can muster. (Person 3) smirks, causing a chill to go down your spine.

(Person 3) looks you up and down, before turning to (person 2), sighing. “Doesn’t seem like this was a ‘pre-arranged’ agreement, (person 2).” They say, (verb-ing) a little. (Person 2) looks at them (adverb). 

“What does it matter to you? You owed me, and now you don’t. A deal’s a deal.” (Person 2) says as (person 3) laughs. 

“I still have that footage of you (verb-ing), (person 2). Don’t get too cocky. That could ruin your career.” (Person 3) continues to laugh as (person 2)’s (body part) turns bright (color). “Shut up! Not in front of y/n!” They yell, gesturing to you with their (body part). You’ve been sitting in silence through this whole exchange, desperately trying to comprehend what the hell is going on. You freeze as both turn to you, wondering how (person 2) know’s your name. Have they been stalking you…? 

“W-what’s going on!” You finally manage to shout. (Person 3) looks at (person 2) knowingly.

“You really can’t just have one normal crush, can you, (person 2)?” (Person three) says, hopping up onto the vehicle, making a loud (noise). He leans down, booping you on the (body part). “Don’t worry, (nickname), (person 2) isn’t going to hurt you.” (person 3) then snickers. “I mean, they couldn’t if they tried.” 

(Person 2) ignores (person 3)’s comments, brushing past them to reach you, grabbing your hand surprisingly gently. Their skin feels (adjective) and (adjective). (Person 2) smiles at you, and despite the situation, you can’t help but feel (animals) in your stomach. 

“Welcome home, y/n.”


End file.
